All of us want to be a good parent and try and imbibe the best values in our child. In our own way we try to coach and guide our child to become a better person. But, is there a best way to do that? Perhaps not.

As each one of us is different, we have our own ways to impart the best knowledge and value. At The Manthan School we also try to do that in a structured way. In this note I am sharing my views on what is effective parenting. My views are a summation of what I have learnt being a mother, observing other parents and reading about how be a good Parent. As Sadhguru says, “There is no one standard rule for all children. Different children may need different levels of attention, expression of love, and toughness. Suppose I was standing in a coconut garden and you ask me, “How much water per plant?” I’d say, “At least 50 liters per plant.” When you go home, if you give 50 liters to your rose plant, it will die. You must see what kind of plant you have in your house and what it needs”. The same will apply to our children as each one is different.

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Give Them ‘True’ Love

People misunderstand that loving their children is to cater to whatever they ask for. Giving them everything they ask for is going too far, isn’t it? When you love, you can do just whatever is needed. When you truly love someone, you are willing to be unpopular and still do what is best for them. At time you have to decide when to say no to the child’s demands.

Don’t Rush Them into Growing Up

It is very important that a child remains a child; there is no hurry to make him into an adult because you can’t reverse it later. When he is a child and he behaves like a child, it’s wonderful. When he becomes an adult and behaves like a child, that’s bad. There is no hurry for a child to become an adult.

Make It a Time to Learn, Not To Teach

When a child comes, unknowingly you laugh, play, sing, crawl under the sofa, and do all those things that you had forgotten to do.

What do you know about life to teach your children? A few survival tricks are the only things you can teach. Please compare yourself with your child and see who is capable of more joy? Your child, isn’t it? If he knows more joy than you, who is better qualified to be a consultant about life, you or him?

When a child comes, it’s time to learn, not teach.

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Provide a Supportive and Loving Atmosphere

If you set an example of fear and anxiety, how can you expect your children to live in joy? They will also learn the same thing. The best thing you can do is to create a joyous and loving atmosphere.

Maintain a Friendly Relationship

Stop imposing yourself on the child and create a strong friendship rather than being a boss. Don’t sit on a pedestal and tell the child what she should do. Place yourself below the child so that it’s easy for them to talk to you.

Avoid Seeking Respect

Love is what you seek with your children, isn’t it? But many parents say, “You must respect me.” Except that you came a few years early, are bigger in body, and you know a few survival tricks, in what way are you a better life than him?

Make Yourself Truly Attractive

If you are genuinely interested in giving your children a good upbringing, you should first transform yourself into a peaceful and loving human being.

A child is influenced by so many things – the TV, neighbors, teachers, school, and a million other things. He will go the way of whatever he finds most attractive. As a parent, you have to make yourself in a way that the most attractive thing he finds is to be with the parents. If you are a joyous, intelligent, and wonderful person, he won’t seek company anywhere else. For anything, he will come and ask you.

If you are genuinely interested in giving your children a good upbringing, you should first transform yourself into a peaceful and loving human being.

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